In other news

My friend Sean tried to hook me up with his girlfriend's friend the other day. They asked me whether or not I was interested in a tall girl from the English Dept at HCC. As a joke, I ask them is she Indian. I think they took it the wrong way, at least Sean's girlfriend Justine did. She said something along the lines of "no, she's just plain, white girl." It's not like I prefer Indian girls over white girls, at this point, any dating is preferred. It's just that, while it's not a fetish or anything, I'm just attracted to everything there is about south asia and arabia. I love the food, the culture, the music, and the girls just came along as a bonus. I really don't have a preference on skin color, however, I think that's the way they took it as.

Justine's a good person, there's only one little thing that bugs me about her. We were feeding the alligators at Lowry Park Zoo, and one of the gators failed to swallow a chicken that was thrown at it's face. Justine shouted out "you retard, get the chicken." Now I know she isn't prejudiced in anyway, but some people may find offense to that comment, or better yet, the usage of that word. We were at a zoo, surrounded by an audience of children, and that isn't exactly something parents like to teach to their kids. Even worse, had there been a parent with a mentally retarded child watching, what would have been the reaction then?

dammit

Damn, why do I still love her. Actually, let me take that back, I don't think it's love, and I don't want to call it an obsession because that's creepy and not what I'm aiming for. It's her presence, it just makes me go all gushy inside, and I lose whatever facade I had put up. I don't think it's love because I don't know her. She's only an acquaintance to me and I to her. I haven't felt about a girl like this since Anne.

Maybe it's all a horrible little game my mind is playing on itself. Maybe I'm taking things out of perspective, and I should move on. But each time I see her face again, I'm placed back into this little hell of mine.