Back to square 1

Ok, so that didn't work. Last week, at a belated Halloween party, I got shot down by Minoo when I told her how I felt, or rather how I wanted to feel. I say how I wanted to feel because right now I just need somebody to hold, anybody to hold, any body to hold. It sounds mean of me to say it doesn't it? I suppose I don't deserve anyone right now for saying the words that I say. Well, some of this is my fault, I'm not very eloquent when I'm nervous, and I'm especially nervous when I'm around attractive women. So I don't think I got my point across when I told Minoo how I felt. Haha, it shocks me even to say this, but I don't want sex. If it comes with everything, then it's accepted, not rejected, but I'm not actively seeking it out. To make a point, when I go out with friends to the clubs, I don't carry condoms with me. All I want is physical contact, short of actual intercourse, just some kissing, and sleeping. Just the taste of a woman on my lips and my fingertips. Things like that. Yeah, I heard it too, for tonight I'm going to stop here. Another time then.