In a way, posting in here is more dangerous than my xanga site, because I don't have a blogger tracker like suhock. However, since the amount of people that I've told this to have been very low, I'm willing to take that chance.
So, by now you must know already, there's this girl named Minoo. I've known her for a few years now, though I can't remember how I started talking to her or who introduced her to me. I'm sure it was Bret, that is the only link that I know of. Anyway, things got interesting when I asked her to be my date for Paul's wedding, only I didn't think that it was a date. So while the reception party got interesting, Minoo and I started a walk on the beach, started in sunset, ended at night. I remember that night very well because it was a very beautiful day on Anna Marie Island, aside from the rotten fish left over from the red tide. There was a storm front just off the coast moving in, and as we were walking, one could see the head of the thunderstorm, sprouting bolts of lightning into the sea. So we're walking and we're talking, finally getting to a nice place where the sand just disappears into the water, and the sand comes together with the sky.
Something prevented me from making a move that night, I don't know if it was the lack of alcohol or just a simple act of cowardice. Ok, maybe I do know, it was something that I had said for the sake of conversation and to prod her feelings, to see where she stands. Do you know how different it would have been if I had made a move that night? And yet, regardless of the mess of emotions that I feel, regret isn't one of them.
I don't know why I feel this way. I am very attracted to her, except her arm hair, but I swear, that goes for all women. It's just a trivial thing of mine that I need to cast away. I am attracted to her like dew in the morning grass, and my mind loses its eloquence when I'm with her. And yet, I speak of the most idiotic of things. You should always end your sentences with a question, if you are trying to start a relationship with a girl. It will help to stimulate the conversation.
Sigh, I should get off and do something more productive. I want to whisper the words of Pablo Neruda to a girl's ear.
If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
